Working From Home with Little Kids

by Andrea Hutson

Those of us who have little kids have become a tribe through this COVID-19 pandemic. A tribe of multi-tasking, always on, juggling being full-time parents, working, and attempting to be teachers, too. It’s a lot.

Sometimes, balls get dropped.

Here’s an example from my very first at-home meeting during Covid-19.

It was a morning meeting, and my 3-year old son had just woken up. My husband had stayed up way too late working and was fast asleep in the bedroom.

“I’ve got this,”  I thought. I poured a bowl of cereal for my son, went to my office, and opened my computer, ready to log into the Zoom meeting. As I was about to click the link, I heard:

“MOMMY! I need you!!!” 

OK. Change of plans. I decided that instead of logging in to the computer, I would dial in so I could be more mobile.  I grabbed my cell, logged in, and walked to the kitchen. I found my son on the verge of a meltdown.

“Mommy,” he said, through teary eyes, “I need you to help me eat my cereal!”

Meanwhile, the call had gone through and I could hear other people on the line saying good morning. [I wisely stayed on mute.]

“Look buddy,” I said, reasonably, “I am on a call for work, and I know you can eat cereal all by yourself. Can you try, and be quiet so I can hear?”

His response? “NOOOOOO!!!!! I CAAANNNNNN’T!”

Ugh-of course.

I tried to walk away for just a second so I could at least say hello, but found I had a screaming toddler barnacle attached to my leg.  Meanwhile, the host of the meeting was saying, “I see someone else on the call. Andrea, is that you?  Andrea? Andrea?”

Working at Home With Kids is a Disaster

And like any disaster, there are management practices that can mitigate the challenges. Since that first day, I haven’t had any other full-blown crises. Here’s what has helped:

• Set a consistent schedule. My husband has a demanding job working with many clients and suppliers in Asia & California, so he’s often up late. But, luckily, business doesn’t really get rolling until 10 or 11 AM.  After that first challenging meeting, we set up a schedule. I start work at 6 AM.  We tag team from 11 – 2, and then he gets the late shift.  Getting up at 6 AM is no fun (I am decidedly not a morning person), but it’s working.

• Try for no (or limited) screen time in the mornings. Of course this is easier said than done, but I do feel this is helpful for (1) my guilt level in letting your child watch too much TV/iPad (2) giving him something to look forward to in the afternoon and (3) setting up some general rules. This has helped him learn to play by himself better, as well, which has been an unintended bonus. My (4) is that I only let him watch iPad after nap, which means that he has an incentive to take a nap (always a battle in this household).

• Work in a room with the door closed. I’m lucky enough to have an office, even though the door doesn’t lock. The physical separation is good for many reasons, including that it curbs the (otherwise constant) question, “Are you done working?” You may not have an office, but there’s probably somewhere you can get away. I know of a popular podcaster who records all of her podcasts in the closet. You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

• Undershare. Strategic use of the mute button is extremely helpful if you’re trying to make lunch, direct an art project, or change a diaper and be on a conference call.  Many of our meetings are now on Zoom or another video conferencing platform.  You can turn off your camera, too, even if everyone else is sharing theirs. I recently watched a savvy mom who showed herself quickly on camera, then turned off the camera for the rest of the meeting. I think this made her look very professional, while minimizing her stress level and visual distraction for the other attendees.  

• Overshare.  Let your boss or clients know that you have children in the household and ask them to help you during this time. I feel that most people are very understanding. My Director of Evaluation, Lindsay, has TWO littles to take care of. We try to schedule meetings before the kids wake up or during nap time.

• Be flexible. Sometimes, nothing else is going to work but pulling out the iPad or altering your schedule for the day to take care of your kiddo(s).  Realize that this is not forever! You can knock off of work early to work on a project with your kids or even skip all or part of a meeting if the day isn’t going well.  This time, too, shall pass — and — as my mother-in-law likes to remind me – “you’ll miss it.” While it’s hard to imagine missing the awful impacts COVID-19 is having on the world and our daily lives, there might be elements that are good in all of this. For our kids, who often get shuffled from bed to school to activities to dinner to bed, this might even have the opportunity to be a pleasant memory. Maybe.

And check out Ann Emery’s free mini-course on looking and sounding professional on camera while working at home.  It helped me immensely.